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I moved out of the community two years ago. I lived in that community from ‘93 to ‘95, I think. I first got involved with Better Beginnings when I got ‘trapped’ in the apartment building, in the elevator I met the Family Visitor Coordinator and the Better Beginnings Community Nurse. And I had a big bump so they picked me out right away, as I was pregnant! They asked me if I had ever heard of Better Beginnings, and I said no, and they told me what it was basically about and they invited me along. Then the Family Visitor Coordinator phoned me a couple of days later and asked me if I would like her to come over to take me to Better Beginnings. I said yes, and I went to the pre-natal group. Basically it went from there.

I had a Family Visitor. She’s really nice, I like her. She was really good throughout the pregnancy, she took me to the Riverside Hospital before I gave birth to show me where it was. My oldest son went to the Playgroup a few times, not a lot because he wouldn't go over to the group. He wouldn't go over by himself, he was very shy. Well he didn't really mix with kids back then because he didn't know how to react to them. But he got better as he went there so it was good for him.

I started with my Family Visitor and a couple of weeks after that I started going to the group. I was about five months pregnant and I was big, so it had to be quite far on. When I went to the doctor's, he did hear two heart beats, but he thought one was an echo. And then when I went for my ultrasound, that's when they discovered they were twins. It was a big shock! We hadn't planned on that at all. Couldn't really afford two of them at once, but we coped.

My Family Visitor showed me where I would be giving birth, where to register, because I didn't know how to do any of that, so it was really good of her to inform me of that. It was really hard actually. When the babies were first born, they were very pale, but I didn't notice it as much because I didn't know. I kind of blinded myself to it. And my Family Visitor noticed straight away how pale they were. And I would take them to Better Beginnings, like the rest of the parents would. And there was one day, I'd been talking to the doctor on the phone, and she told me that, the babies’ feet were really swollen.

I had taken them to the doctor’s, and she had told me she wanted some tests done on them two weeks from that day. That morning, I took them to Better Beginnings, and the Community Nurse looked at them, and she took me straight to CHEO {Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario} because she noticed how pale they were, and the swelling. So we got there, and they had severe anemia, and low protein. The Community Nurse stayed with me all the time throughout emergency. It was a real shock because what happened is she brought me back to begin with, and then I got a phone call from the hospital saying to take the babies straight to it. And she took me straight to the hospital with the twins and they were admitted. They were really pretty sick by then, but nobody was too worried because they thought it was only a blood condition. I went into the hospital after the birth and I had a real bad experience with a pediatrician at the time, and she was negligent. She didn't pick up on their anemia, their swelling, it was the Community Nurse who did all of that. So I’m very grateful for her for that.

But then the next trouble we had with them is that the Community Nurse had come to the house for a visit, and my son couldn't breathe, he was gasping for air. She told me to phone the doctor, and I phoned her, and this was the Monday, and she told me to make an appointment for the Wednesday. The Community Nurse got on the phone and she said, ‘Listen, these children have to be seen, and they have to be seen now!’ So she took me to the doctor’s and all the doctor was going to do was put them on ventolin. And the Community Nurse said, ‘No, you have to go to CHEO.’ We took them to CHEO and they were admitted again, with breathing problems. They weren't diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis by then, they just thought it was a new strain of the whooping cough. So they were in for another week there and then they were released and they started having the breathing problems again. And the Community Nurse told me to get in touch with the doctor again, so we did and they were admitted again for a couple of days and then they were released again. Then, they were fine for awhile. They still had the breathing problems, they still had a cough, they weren't gaining weight like a normal child would. It was Thanksgiving and they were admitted that night, and they were in for about another week and that's when they were diagnosed with the Cystic Fibrosis. The Community Nurse was the first person I called to tell, even before my husband actually, he was at work at the time. So I phoned her, because it was the one person I knew I could talk to. I knew I could break down with her and I didn't want to do that to my husband. And she was there for me again.

She visited me at the hospital. She, like Better Beginnings, took me back and forth to the hospital a lot, they gave me bus tickets to get back and forth to the hospital. They gave me a big package with stuff for the kids and for us. Even when they were in the hospital, on the Friday morning, I would take time off and I would still go to Better Beginnings {drop-in} in the morning. Which was hard sometimes looking at all these healthy babies, but it all still helped me I think get through it. And the Community Nurse did as well. There was one hard time though, there was a lady about a week before me that had twins and she came into the group while I was there that morning after they had been diagnosed. She came in with her twins, and I had to leave the room. And then the Community Nurse came after me and she talked to me, and I was fine. But there were a couple of times that I went over to Better Beginnings and she wasn't there and I was talking to total strangers that worked at Better Beginnings because I felt that I could go there to talk to them. That they were there for me. Because it was hard to break down in front of my husband at that time. Now I don't care, but back then it was hard. It was hard for him because he didn't have anybody to talk to because he didn't feel as comfortable with the people from Better Beginnings. But he’s very grateful to the Community Nurse, and he got on well with her, but it wasn't like the relationship I had with her. I was pretty close to her back then.

I needed that support. I don't think I could have gotten through it if that support wasn't there; the Community Nurse, my Family Visitor, the other people I talked to there that I don't even know their names. I would have found it a lot harder.

My kids are alive! If it wasn't for the Community Nurse acting when she did, especially when my son was having the breathing problems, I wouldn't have them now. Because they were that malnourished, they were that ill when they were actually diagnosed. And one of them couldn't cope with the medication, it just didn't work, because he was that far gone. If they had gone much longer we wouldn't have had them. Like while we were there one had a cardiac arrest, the other had a respiratory arrest. They were about four months old, so they were very small at the time.

My Family Visitor was a good friend. She was somebody to talk to also. And she helped me with a lot of maternity clothes and stuff like that that I didn’t have the money for. And actually she did a lot for me too like taking me down to the toy bank at Christmas time and, she got in touch with welfare for me because when the twins were born, we didn't have cribs. And they wouldn't deliver them straight away and when I brought them home, they didn't have a crib to sleep in. So my Family Visitor arranged for these little travel cots for them so we would have something to put them in. And, she was a good friend. Actually she has been to the house a couple of times to visit as well. And my older son had a really good time at Playgroup. He made a really good friend there, actually it was through Better Beginnings that I made my best friend in Canada. She was in the same apartment building, and then she had a baby just after I did. We became friends and my older son and her son became friends. So it was really the first child that he really started to play with too. Which made a difference for him, because he didn't really know how to play with other kids. So he had to learn the sharing and so that was really through Better Beginnings too.

But it was just after I was getting to know everybody that we moved again, which was a pain. I do miss living where we were because of Better Beginnings. I enjoyed going to Better Beginnings, it was a break. And it was good for the kids as well. They had their birthday party for the twins the first time there at Better Beginnings. And it was basically because we didn't think that they would last the first stretch, so it was basically the Community Nurse’s idea to have a party at Better Beginnings for them. And now they are nearly three! Last time I saw her was I think three months ago. Me and my husband dropped by at Better Beginnings. We take the kids every so often so everybody can see the progress. So we can just have a chat. Because I miss the Community Nurse, I really miss her. She is a wonderful woman. I think it helps that she’s from England too.

For me, being connected to Better Beginnings was all good, because I didn't know anybody in the area. It helped me make friends and I used to be very very shy as well. I wouldn't say ‘Boo’ to a ghost. And by going to Better Beginnings, I lost a lot of that. But then again with the kids getting sick, I lost even more because I had to start speaking up for myself. And the Community Nurse would tell me that as well, ‘You have got to ask, you have got to tell them what you want.’ The doctors were using all these technical terms that I didn't have a clue about, so I would come back and ask her if she would tell me so I would understand. And she offered to meet with the doctors and me so that she could explain because she knew most of the doctors that the babies were dealing with because she used to work at CHEO. So it was really handy. Without her there, I wouldn't have understood a lot, so that was handy too, I was lucky.

I think Better Beginnings made me a lot happier, because as I said, I didn't know anybody and I would get very depressed where I just wanted to pack everything up and go back to England. And once Better Beginnings came along, a lot of that changed because I made friends and I became more confident in myself. And it was there for any questions that I needed, like during the pregnancy, after the pregnancy, so I am more informed. And I know now even if I have got a problem, I can phone the Community Nurse and she won't mind. And I have got my two kids and if it wasn't for Better Beginnings, I wouldn't have them, because of the doctor. I still have a lot of anger for her. I control it well, though. Overall, I am not as timid. It brought me out of myself. That’s what Better Beginnings did, with the help of the Community Nurse and the Family Visitor. I mean there are still times when I’m the one off sitting in the corner, not spoken to. But overall I’m not as shy. I make friends easier now. I don't know whether it is more because Better Beginnings helped me that way or whether it’s more because of the kids.

Better Beginnings made my son learn to mix with other kids, and learn to share, you know, the normal things that kids need to learn. There are no real groups around here where they can go and I don't know if I really would anyways because I do get paranoid about them. But I think that if Better Beginnings was still there for me I would get over some of the obstacles. I fear them mixing with other kids in case they catch something and they end up in the hospital. They’re behind in their development, so I wonder if they were going somewhere like Better Beginnings, I wonder if they would be as behind? I think about it, a group like that would go really well around here. I miss it. And I think the kids would have a lot of fun there playing. My son used to just have a ball when he went to Playgroup, there was just so much to do.

We moved here for medical reasons. The hospital wanted the twins out of the apartment, it was too dry, too cramped and we needed a bigger place so that they would lead healthier lives. They were in oxygen tents back there too. And there was one in the bedroom with us, because it was only a two bedroom apartment. There was one in the living room, so I would keep getting up in the middle of the night to keep checking up on the one in the living room. It was hard. I don't know what we would have done without the Community Nurse. She was always there, always! She always had time for me. Whether I was crying or happy she was always there. I think Better Beginnings made a big difference in the community. Because people did become closer.

I think it makes a difference with the pre-natal anyway. Especially first time mothers where they haven't a clue. They have information there for them and there’s just so many things you can do there at Better Beginnings. There was a sewing class at one time, cooking and then I think there was a group there for women who had been abused, things like that. Without Better Beginnings, nobody would have known where to turn. So I think that made a big difference for people. And you learn a lot through Better Beginnings, like what your rights are, or like with us, my husband was working but we were getting assistance through welfare and we didn't know what we were allowed, and what we weren't allowed. And through Better Beginnings, we found out things like that. Because nobody volunteers information, but Better Beginnings does. And without the Community Nurse I would have just sat back and took everything the doctors gave me, not understood it, or it would have gone in one ear, out the other type of thing.

Without Better Beginnings, I do not think I could have gotten through it with just my husband. Because back then, we didn't talk very much about it. We did not really know what was going on and the Community Nurse helped a lot there, I mean I did not even know anything about CF {Cystic Fibrosis} even when the doctors would tell me and I would read about it. It was not reality. So it made a big difference having somebody to turn to. People would say, ‘Oh we know how you feel’ and they would compare it to when their kid had a cold or something. But I didn't get that from Better Beginnings. To me, nobody knew what I was going through. And then as time went on and we learned to deal with it we had people asking questions and people were interested in what was going on. And I didn't mind telling them. So we were informing other people about it and people were interested. It made a big difference that Better Beginnings was there in the twins’ lives, really big.

I am really grateful to them. The Community Nurse knows how grateful I am, I have told her so many times. And she knows I consider her the saviour of my kids, I really do. If it hadn't been for the Community Nurse, I don't think that the twins would be around, so I have a lot of respect for her, every job that she does, she helps a lot of people.